


Every story needs a villain

by Vasilisian



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, They were all supposed to suffer, This was supposed to be so much angstier, and slightly angsty, but yeah, everywhere, it was just angst, now it's this, which is still pretty cool, you should have seen my first draft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-02
Updated: 2016-10-02
Packaged: 2018-08-19 00:57:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8182738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vasilisian/pseuds/Vasilisian
Summary: In which I (sorta) take Madara's place as the enemy of the world after a stint in Hell and (kinda) adopt eight ducklings along the way.
A.K.A. I fuck up world peace, fix it, make friends with traitors and crazy ninja and become the most hated woman in history.





	

**Author's Note:**

> The title comes from the song 'One Woman Army' by Porcelain Black.
> 
> Anyway, I wrote this in a day, reviewed and re-wrote half of it while in a car and sent it to my amazing beta-reader Laura. You can all thank her for catching some embarrassing mistakes so that you don't have to deal with them. Laura, you rock and I am so grateful that you agreed to be my beta-reader. Thank you so much <3
> 
> I hope you enjoy this little thing I wrote (and I may write more for it if there is a demand. If not, I will focus on my other story "What the FU-dge...")

It was over. 

The Shinobi Alliance had finally overwhelmed Yuu, an opponent which had seemed unbeatable and immortal. They had brought her down to her knees, with the last killing blow being struck by Uchiha Obito himself. And while the rest of the world was celebrating the death of what would be known as the most hated woman in history, eight people mourned her.

These eight has been her most trusted allies, her supporters and the ones that helped her achieve what none had thought possible. “She really pulled it off. Fucking world peace.” It was the silver-haired man that spoke first.

“Don't sound so surprised, Hidan. It's Yuu-chan for fuck's safe, she could have done anything if she put her mind to.” Despite his biting words, Kakuzu's voice sounded more gravelly than normal.

“Then why did she do it like this? If she wanted world peace so bad, why didn't she convince the Hidden Villages to get along? She got us to follow, why couldn't she convince them?” The question came from their youngest member, whose long blond locks did nothing to hide his tear-stained face and bloodshot eyes. 

“Because a bond formed fighting side by side against a superior opponent is much stronger than one formed over a piece of paper. If Yuu had managed to convince all the Kages to join their villages in peace, it wouldn't have lasted long. Some hot-headed fool would have taken offence at something, started a fight and the next thing you know, the next Shinobi World War has started. We shinobi are famous for holding grudges, and we tend get revenge by killing the person that wronged us, who then wants revenge on us, creating a cycle of hatred that never ends.”

Silence greeted his words but all Itachi did was take another sip from his drink, unfocused eyes staring at nothing. He'd been half-blind when Yuu had found him, but she'd found a medic halfway across the Elemental nations that had a way to fix him. He'd been so confused at her kindness, not understanding what she wanted from him. Turned out, she didn't want much from him, just that he tried living his life the way he wanted to.

“Fuck them. If they want to wallow in pain and misery, let them! Why should Yuu-chan have to pay the price for their happiness? She's a better person than all of them combined, and now they killed her because they were too blind to achieve peace themselves. It's not fair.”

Surprisingly, the hateful words came from Nagato. He had been the most supportive of her plans for peace, especially after she saved them from Hanzo and ensured that Yahiko became Amegakure's Kage. Their people lived happy and stable lives now, largely thanks to Yuu's efforts. He and Konan had left Ame to follow and support her as a thank you, despite her insistence that she didn't need thanks.

The red-head deflated, his anger draining out of him. “She's going to be known as a monster, a villain. She'll be hated until the day history forgets her. Nobody will ever know her real story.” The last words were noting but an anguished whisper. Konan put her hand on top of his, and reassured him with words full of conviction. “We will remember. We will tell the people of Ame about her sacrifice and her love for this world.”

She smiled warmly despite the pain in her heart at the loss of a good friend. “It will be a secret of Ame. Our people know her as a hero, and they will honour her as one. She will be remembered fondly Nagato.” She looked into her partner's eyes, those powerful and dangerous eyes that brought them so much pain. Until Yuu. “We will tell our children about the Tales of Yuu, the most hated woman alive and the greatest hero of them all.”

“If you're done being sappy, I'm trying to drink to the death of a comrade here.” Sasori rolled his eyes, forever grateful that Yuu had beaten some humility into his head. “Stop being such a dick Kisame. Let the two have their moment. Just because you can't get or keep a girlfriend doesn't mean you have to drag the rest of us down to your level.”

The blue man roared in anger and pushed off from the table. “Down to my level? What's that supposed to mean, you insufferable puppet-fucker?!” Said puppet-fucker stood up as well, anger sparking in his eyes. “It means exactly what you think it means, you sword-obsessed, brainless fish-freak!” As the rest of the table slowly got involved in the insult contest, Hidan couldn't help but roll his eyes. Since when was he the calm one?

He sat back after taking the bottle for himself, toasting the ceiling before taking a gulp. This is for you, Yuu-chan. You better be waiting for us, wherever you are.

-

I snorted, watching as some of the most powerful and dangerous shinobi to ever exist throw insults at each other like children. I honestly wasn't surprised. After all, they were all S-rank missing-nins, with the exception of Nagato and Konan. It was a miracle they got along so well in the first place. Well, I suppose if you unite them under a flag of real peace and convince\beat them into becoming better people, it was only to be expected they would bond eventually.

“So that's why it was taking you so long. I was wondering why you hadn't fully passed on yet.” I spun around to look at the figure that had seemingly appeared out of nowhere. I felt my eyebrow slowly rising as the words sank in. “Is this a problem? It's nice to see them living life to the fullest. That's why I tried my best to save them.” The figure swept a hand down to indicate the group that had now started what looked like a game of Strip Monopoly. Hey, that was my favourite game!

I got a bit distracted watching Kisame pull his shirt off while pouting. He'd always been terrible at it. Probably had something to do with the fact that Sasori always messed with his dice when it was his turn. How the guy hadn't noticed yet was both a mystery and a miracle. A cough drew my attention back to the figure, and while I couldn't see their, face, I had a feeling they were looking at me with an eyebrow raised.

I gave them a brilliant smile in return, not at all sorry for my distraction. “As I was about to say, you did indeed save them, along with the rest of the Elemental Nations. By killing Madara before he had time to summon Zetsu, you prevented the events that would lead to the Fourth Shinobi World War. But as you realized yourself, the Shinobi Villages were too entrenched in hate to create real, lasting peace without a common enemy to fight.”

I grimaced. That had not been a nice time for me. Finding out I may have fucked up world peace had not been fun, even though a ridiculous amount of people died because of Tobi, Madara, Zetsu and Kaguya. Then realizing that I was the only person that had sufficient knowledge and power to effectively replace Madara as the common enemy of the world had been even less fun. But hey, it had been my fuck-up, so I fixed it. And I'd done a damn good job, if I had to say so myself.

“You have not only achieved peace through-out the lands by uniting them against yourself, you also saved the people that would have become Akatsuki in another lifetime. You saved Obito from ever becoming Tobi, and prevented Zetsu from being summoned. The other eight you gave salvation with compassion and a belief that they could be better. They are your family in all but blood, and now you wish to see them live their lives.”

I narrowed my eyes. It kinda sound like... “But you cannot watch over them from here.” Yep, there was a 'but' in there. “That is why I offer you a chance to watch over them,” There was a catch, wasn't there. “As their guardian angel. You will keep them safe and healthy for the rest of their natural lives. All eight of them.” I told you so.

I thought about it. I'd already lived one life, spent fuck-knows how long being tortured in Hell before being stupid enough to accept a deal from the bloody Devil himself and being born into a world I had thought fictional. I had then spent a life-time working toward world peace in this supposedly fictional world before being beaten to a pulp by an army of people I just wanted to help and eventually being killed by the guy whose life I'd saved.

And now I had the option of watching over eight(technically six) S-rank missing-nin who had each other to guard their backs. For most I wouldn't have to wait too long for them to die (aside from Deidara and Itachi), but waiting for Hidan and Kakuzu to finally kick the bucket could take ages. Literally. Those two were basically immortal. Thank fuck I'd managed to convince Sasori to switch back to a normal body, or I'd never be done.

But yeah, it would take a while and probably a lot of work. And I could also just pass on and wait for them to die.

“When do I start?” A bright light and searing pain along my shoulder-blades was my answer. I blinked, and then I was falling. “Fuck you too, arsehole!” I screamed my anger out into the sky as the ground got closer at a frankly alarmingly fast pace. That's when I noticed the giant white fluffy wings stuck to my back. Oh right. Guardian angel.

I imagined my shoulder-blades spreading wide, and felt my wings (that was gonna take some getting used to) stretch out and catch the wind. Just in time too, I had nearly been turned into a pancake. That wouldn't have been the best way to start my new job as guardian angel to a bunch of knuckleheads.

Okay, so. Landing. Excessive amount of fantasy films, don't fail me now. I turned my wings until they were vertical with the ground, flapped once and crashed through a wall. Eh, good enough. I'd work on my landings later. Now I had more important things to deal with, like the fact that it was a bar I had landed in, and my old team were sitting around a table in various states of undress.

They were also staring at me. I grinned back at them and raised my hand in a lazy salute.

“Did ya miss me?”


End file.
